who did you marry / who have you married? (2025)

Hi,

A: Are you married? -- B: Yes, I am.

A1: And who have you married?
A2: And who did you marry?

Is only A1 correct here?

Thanks!

Both could work but they both sound as if A believes B's married to someone A knows, but A doesn't know who exactly it is.

If A just wants to know more about B's spouse, I'd expect something like: What's his/her name? Where did you meet him/her?

I think they both sound a bit odd as they stand, especially (A1). It's almost as if A was under the impression that B was going to marry somebody else but changed his/her mind at the last minute.

Barque's suggestions are much more natural responses.

Well, I was thinking about the difference between past simple and present perfect, not about getting "common information" about the exact person ;-)

A: I´ve married Jane. (= we are still together)
A: I married Jane. (says only "what happened in the past", but says nothing about present - we could get divorced later and so we can be divorced now ... )

Therefore I thought that it might work the same in a question:

A1: Who have you married? = I use this becuase I know that you are still together ... (because "B" has said that they are = B: Yes, I am. (= I´m married.))
A2: Who did you marry? = has no direct impact on his present status (married - single - divorced) which I´ve just been informed about (married)

Do I overthink here? There´s no such a difference between past simple and present perfect meaning in this case / question?

Pepa123 said:

A1: Who have you married? = I use this becuase I know that you are still together ... (because "B" has said that they are = B: Yes, I am. (= I´m married.))

Click to expand...

It's just that "Who have you married?" sounds an odd question to ask. In fact it sounds almost accusatory. What have you done? Who have you married?

Pepa123 said:

A2: Who did you marry? = has no direct impact on his present status (married - single - divorced) which I´ve just been informed about (married)

Click to expand...

Again, this isn't a natural reply to "I'm married" unless in a very specific context. If B knows of various people A was in relationships with in the past, and is sure A would have married one of them, you might hear such a question. Who did you marry? C? Or D? Or maybe E?

Pepa123 said:

Well, I was thinking about the difference between past simple and present perfect, not about getting "common information" about the exact person ;-)

Do I overthink here? There´s no such a difference between past simple and present perfect meaning in this case / question?

Click to expand...

No: I'm afraid you're working with the wrong logic in trying to deduce from those tenses whether someone is still married or not.

Let's try a different example: pretend we haven't seen the news lately.

Hey - Prince Harry has just married Megan Markle!
Hey - Prince William married Kate Middleton and they now have three children!

Who has Prince Harry just married?
Who did Prince William marry?

Is that any clearer?

Pepa123 said:

A: Are you married? -- B: Yes, I am.
A1: And who have you married?
A2: And who did you marry?

Click to expand...

A1 and A2 both sound odd and illogical because of the tense change. The normal continuation of the idea is And who are you married to? or And who is your wife/husband?

And 'Who have you married? could sound as if you are expecting a list of people the listener has married in the past.

"Well, I married Harriet, then Jane, then Fiona, then Harriet again, and then Michaela, with whom I've been very happy these past two weeks."

DonnyB said:

No: I'm afraid you're working with the wrong logic in trying to deduce from those tenses whether someone is still married or not.

Let's try a different example: pretend we haven't seen the news lately.

Hey - Prince Harry has just married Megan Markle!
Hey - Prince William married Kate Middleton and they now have three children!

Who has Prince Harry just married?
Who did Prince William marry?

Is that any clearer?

Click to expand...

Yes, I hope so. This has (?) helped ;-)